Well, it’s Christmas. So I guess I’m suppose to say “Merry Christmas”. What does that mean?
I don’t think there is any one True Meaning of Christmas – rather there are as many meanings as there are people. Yes, Christmas has a history, and that history affects us all, but each family has their own Christmas traditions and meaning. Children find yet a different meaning and one that changes as they grow and develop. The word “Merry” means to be joyful, celebrate, and be in general good cheer. “Christmas” is the birth of Jesus Christ. “Merry Christmas” implies that people should make “Merry” and enjoy in the celebration of his birth.
Certainly Christmas is a time of giving and sharing with those around us, but that sharing is not limited to those that we love and care for. It is also for the person that we have never met and will never see. Those that are not so fortunate in their lives as “we are” and that could use a helping hand.
This Christmas I’m not worrying about receiving any gift. The people I know either don’t have money, don’t have enough, don’t want to be bothered or has some other plans, etc. So I am not caring about that right now. I mostly care about spending time with the people I call my family and friends that I do have. With me saying that, you would expect I would love to be with my mom and her boyfriend today but no. Sitting around the house, staring at the wall, maybe watching movies on my phone and wasting data, watching them go and buy more beer to drink and not have a clue or care in the world is not my ideal of a Christmas day. I understand I could have done some things a little different and gone with my other family to Tennessee or maybe avoid being ditched and put out of the other living situation I was in on Christmas Eve to be forced to come back to my mom’s house.
I feel like I’m going to lose my mine. I don’t know how to describe the way it feels to just be let go over and over again and to have nothing to do at all. Sleeping on the floor, the door to the porch doesn’t close right so it let’s in all the cold my room, which I love the cold but still shouldn’t have to deal with that. As I was making a Facebook post using the feelings feature, I was typing the feeling of being abandoned and using a sad emoji face, then I realized that I have not made a post of my Abandoned Knight blog thus leading my here, typing away and starring into nothing.
The True Meaning of Christmas. It is many meanings to us. It means sharing of ourselves with others. It means giving to others that need our help. It means reviving the old traditions that we have formed over the years and remembering our past. It means promoting and participating in the magic and wonder that children find in Christmas. It is a time of love and generosity.
– Merry Christmas
Wow! So, it has been a while, huh guys?! Well I’m back and I’m here with some good news. If you have been following my blog for a little while now then you will know that there has been some chaos and not much of anything else going on. Keep reading to hear about what has changed and what college I’m going to and where I’m working at.
So, since the last time I posted about my life, changes have accrued. I now work at a lovely coffee joint called Tim Hortons. I have been there for about 4 mouth and I really love it. I love that I get to interact with customers even though sometimes they can be rude but they just want their coffee, most of them. The job is pretty easy but can get chaotic during the mornings around 6:00, but that just makes everything interesting, doesn’t it? Now I’m only working like one or two days a week because of school. Speaking of which…
Independence. Responsibility. Self-Motivation. These few words are associated with college, as among others. As I have been accepted into the Bachelors of Fine Arts in Digital Filmmaking at Villa Maria College, I, myself have accepted the responsibility of being independent, responsible of my own actions and self-motivated. College is definitely a big step from high school. In college, you are more on your own, you have to make the decision of doing something with your life even more so. You chose to put in that application and to take out loans if you needed to. You don’t have the same teachers that babied you in high school, bugged you about getting your work done. You are an adult now. Start acting like it. As maybe most of you know, I enjoy making and editing videos, taking and editing photos and maybe just the love of art itself, so, taking this program is not a surprise. I have been busy this week with Welcome Week, which is a string of activities throughout the week to interact with other students, meet the staff and become more involve with the school. And yes, I have been to all of them. My two favorites were Chalk Villa and the Club Fair. Chalk Villa is where you basically just grab some chalk and get to chalking up the from sidewalks of the main building. Me and one of my new friends from film class were able to go start early and it was pretty fun. I drew 2 things which I’ll show below along with the rest of the students chalk work. The club fair was my other favorite and that was basically what the name says. That’s right, the day we get to sign up for clubs and I signed up for four and maybe another one if I can. The four I chose were Film Club, Photography Club, Gaming Guild(Club) and Debate Club! They do exactly what the name implies so I hopefully don’t have to go into the explanation of that.
The only thing that hasn’t changed much is me still living with my mom. Living with her is still pretty bad, mentally stressful and only god knows what else. She and everybody else still drinks and smokes all day and night and get very drunk at night so sleeping there or just being there is very stressful. I say mentally stressful because it is not very healthy to be sitting in the middle of everything, just listening and knowing the minute I say something about it things will just get worst and not stop. So, it helps that I can be at the college however long I want. School opens at 7:30am and closes at 12:00 am, not that I stay until 12:00am but I typically stay about 15 hours a day in the college. I would stay until 12:00am but I know I wouldn’t feel like walking back to the house at midnight, so, I just leave around 9:00pm. There’s also a gym here obviously that I can use and help my journey of weight loss and give me something else to do.
Alright, guys I’m sorry for not posting in a while. I kind of left everyone in the dark for the past few months. Once again I will try and keep on this so you know what is going on.
Photography for me is an excuse to be someplace I otherwise don’t belong. It gives me both a point of connection and a point of separation.
I take photos because it makes me happy. It lets me see the world from many different perspectives and to see the things I missed when I take them into the editing program. Another thing is that the more photos I take, the more people that can not go out to see for themselves enjoy them from afar
Capturing something like a landscape, demonstrates how big the world is and how beautiful it can be once you stop the have a look. Nowadays, everything has to be “right now”, rushed, no time to observe your surroundings. But the minute you stop…take a breath… and look!
Black and White
To me black and white photography looks amazing–when it’s done right. The reason I say that is because it is not just taking all the color out and making the photo dark, and especially not just slapping on a black and white filter. There is more to work with if you want to get it right. The colors become shades of grey or Tonal Contrast. So now your editing the highlights, dark tones, etc.
Black and white photography is great for showing emotions. As well as a ageless quality because we still think black and white as a throwback to photographic history. My black and white photography aren’t the best since I still have to master the skill.
All of my photography that I do is all done on my iPhone 6s Plus and editing in Lightroom and Snapseed. If you would like to check out more of my photos you can follow my photography page on Instagram @acade_photography or my Facebook page.
Not exactly a real syndrome but it’s what I and many other people have around the world. So here are a few approaches towards overthrowing this condition.
A frequent issue among people is having an empty head when it comes to what to say next. Speaking from experience and on going issue, your talking with someone and then arise a very uncomfortable and awkward silence. If you know me, then we may have experienced this, haha.
What can I do to overcome this challenge?
Here’s what I’m working on
Why is this even coming up?
First and foremost, a few reasons why I think we are experiencing these issues. One reason is that we are not is our “world”. Our comfort zone (meaning for example that you go to a party to watch the NFL Super Bowl but know nothing about the sport while the other people are huge fans).
But a common reason why we may run into this problem is that we feel that we have to say the right thing. To avoid appearing stupid for saying the wrong thing or asking the wrong question. Or you may want to impress someone.
For me, I can say these three reason are the culprits to my dilemma or not knowing what to say.
1: Listen to your high school teachers.
Teachers would always ask the student if they have any questions and to always participate in class. There’s no wrong question or no wrong answer ( I beg to differ to the “no wrong answer”, people are wrong a lot). But anyways, you don’t always have to have the perfect answer. The only person expecting you have to the perfect answer to everything is you.
Having such goal can accumulate performance anxiety and it screws with your mind and does not help you improve anything. So now your mind is paralyzed and now have nothing to say next.
2: Thinking is good and all, but don’t think too hard.
Don’t think too much, you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. When you think too much you tend to have your focus inwards. You become self conscious, start to question yourself and fear what the future may bring. You get stuck between options for what to say and nothing comes out.
So you need to step back and bring your awareness with you to the present moment and start thinking outwards again. Thus, focusing on what people are actually saying and what is happening around you and your conversation.
This is called your natural headspace. This is where you are when you are with your family and friends.
But Aaron, I can’t get into this comfortable and social headspace you speak of around other people!
No need to worry imaginary person! All you have to do is just Breathe or/and Observe and Assume Rapport.
Breathe or/and Observe. In order to connect with this comfortable state you need to focus on your breathing and/or observe and take in your surroundings with all your 6 senses…oh wait…forgot you guys only have the normal 5 senses. I have the extra one 🙂 haha, Shhh 😳!
Assume Rapport. By this I mean, don’t go into a meeting/conversation/social gathering, etc. thinking “how will this go” and very nervous and worried. Assume your going in and meeting with a good friend and that you are you to establish a good conversation or connection (Rapport). Then you should automatically slid on into your comfort zone and mindset of your just with another good friend of yours.
3: Curious George
When you are stuck in some kind of negative emotional state then you are closed up. You tend to create division in your world and mind. You create barriers between you and other things/people.
So here’s the trick. If you become curious then you body and mind permeates with joy, anticipation and eagerness. Which then opens you up. And when you are open and enthusiastic then you have more fun things to think about than focusing on your nervousness or fear. So be curious.
Alright now your curious, but don’t get stuck in the questions game where the conversation turns into an interrogation. Mix the questions up with making statements. Instead of asking them what’s their favorite kind of music, just tell them what your favorites are and then let them carry forward from the statement.
Find something in what you are already talking about to help you move into the next topic. The topic of camping gear on TV can help you bounce over to the time you and your family got trapped in a rain storm in just a tint. And then you and the people in the conversation can go on to talking about family or maybe the other rain storm or camping experiences.
You can also find inspiration for topics by simply observing your surroundings. Which goes back to just breathing and observation.
The tips above should help you out but if you get really stuck anyway then you may want prepare and have a few topics in your mental back pocket.
The person you are talking to. Again, curiosity is good because people like to talk about themselves.
Passions. People love to share positive emotions and usually like to know what makes the other person tick.
Watercooler topics and the news. It never hurts to be updated on what’s happening in the world.
Again thanks for reading and please follow for future post updates and comments. And share if you can. Much Appreciated!
If your anything like me then you will understand how bad it is to meet someone and quickly and easily get attached to that person and to just to get hurt.
If a girl shows the slightest of affection towards me, I almost instantly start to get clingy and start to really like or “fall in love” so to speak. And it’s not like I’m trying hard to find anybody at this moment, I don’t mind waiting. Love is Patients! So why do I start to obsess or latch onto others?
I discovered that I didn’t feel accepted for a long time and when someone accepted me and made me feel understood, I started to fall for them- hard.
If that person obviously does not like you in that way, why are you still chasing them?
We cannot force people to want to be in our lives.
I believe that if you practice self-love and to try and enjoy your own company/solitude, you won’t be so attached to the person.
Instead of chasing, just be still. Work on yourself, explore your passions, go on an adventure and discover who you are.
Keep reminding yourself that and one day, you won’t feel the need to attach so easily.
Another reason could be that you aren’t completely happy with yourself and/or your life. So you feel the need (unknowingly) to depend on someone else to give you happiness, comfort, acceptance, company, excitement, security, etc.
You need to learn to have more CONFIDENCE in yourself and love yourself enough to create a life YOU LOVE living in. You need to change your mindset and yourself so you don’t need anyone to add excitement into your life because you’re lacking it.
It isn’t easy but it’s do-able with a lot of determination and perseverance. Trust yourself. Learn to dismiss those negative thoughts. Make your life into something that is exciting so you won’t NEED someone else. It’s dangerous to feel like you need to have someone in your life. You are gonna be dependent on them for everything and that is just bad news.
Military is a big decision! Somebody asked me “If I were to get my life back together, would I stay?” Having my life together would consist of a great job, living on my own or with girlfriend/wife, a car, gym membership, actual friends, etc. But…would I stay?
I know the military could be dangerous. We [USA] wouldn’t be where we are if we didn’t have a military or weren’t dangerous. If every man and woman listened to their parents or significant other telling them not to join then I don’t know how we would have gotten through in this world. Our government would be controlled differently, we’ll have terrorist running around all Willy nilly. So, we don’t listen, at least not all of us, and we go in to support our country as much as we can. I believe if everyone served at least 1 contract in any branch, the world would be a better place.
I tend to always want more, always expect more out of things and people. I want my life to be a little bit more exciting and I don’t seem to get it from just being a citizen. I can sit here and prevent hackers from penetrating into a company’s database or whatever. But I could also travel around and prevent terrorist from penetrating into the governments systems. I could be a security guard for a bar or some random company protecting people from hurting each other, bar fights, etc. but being a security guard for the US Embassy over seas sounds a little more interesting. Going through many tough trainings to protect more sensitive information and valuable people.
Another thing is that you have to chance of developing a brotherhood more substantial than any other. Yes, you can become best friends with your next door cubicle buddy but that’s not the same. Having somebody travel with you for 4 – 20 years, having to trust them and know they have your back and you watching their back until death is another thing.
So I repeat the question at hand. Would I stay?