Quick Update

Alright this is just a quick little update for the past week. Basically it’s the same story but just so you guys know what’s been going on since my last post. 
My best friends mom T has received her $18,000 settlement and she left to Buffalo for a whole week leaving us here at the house and she is already down to $3000 somehow and nothing to show for it. We even had a plan of getting our own place but I guess that’s not going to happen. 

Other than that me and L been taking care of the dogs and cats and the house. T gave us $100 the first day she left and said to do the laundry and a couple other things and then left for a couple days. Why!?!? No idea. But if we did all the laundry and whatever else then we wouldn’t have money for food. Then she came back for something and L asked for $300 and bought a $150 sword and a few other things we didn’t need and then some food. So we had to sell his rifle for some money-got about $325 and that didn’t last to long either. A lot of the food that we’re eating is pre-made so that’s probably why it goes quicker. 

The jeep that L bought last month finally got towed away. It wasn’t a working jeep(second time he bought a non working jeep) and it was sitting in the municipal parking lot and they gave him multiple warnings to move it or it’ll be towed because if you live in the village, you can not have a car without license plates sitting around in the open. So he received multiple warnings but we couldn’t move it because it doesn’t drive and nobody was willing to help us. But so eager to ask us for help! That’s all I see in the world today. People can only help themselves. 

Anyways that’s all I have for you guys today. Sorry for the jumping around, there wasn’t much else to say besides just sitting around with nothing to do. But stay tune I am probably moving back to Buffalo with my mom until I can make enough money to live on my own or fine a someone that wants to share a house or something like that. 

Who/What inspires you

Inspiration can come in many different ways by many different people or things. Let’s talk about the people that inspired me or who helped me when I needed some advice.

The first person that inspired me a lot was Uncle PJ because he would he would take me out with him to different places and teach me a thing or two. He was one of those guys that knows a little about everything, so he would get hired by people around Buffalo to do a new roof, fix some pipes, cars, lawn care, painting and whatever else you can think of. Just about every time he would have a job to go to he would bring me along with him and show the proper way of doing something. So I consider myself very diverse in the handy world of fixing things, haha, if that makes sense, confused myself a little bit. But other than that he was really cool and respectful and he was there if I needed help with something
Another person that I really look up to is my former youth director D, I say former because I’m no longer in the youth group, got to old :). But that doesn’t stop us from being great friends and helping each other out. D and I created a pretty cool secret handshake that we would do whenever we see each other on Sunday or different church events. I look up to D because I love the advice he gives me. Now due to my current situation we have not done what I’m about to explain to you in a while. Once in a while we would get together and go to a movie or go out to eat at Ruby Tuesdays-which is an amazing restaurant and the salad bar is my absolute favorite especially those homemade croutons, Mm Mm Good! It was fun getting to go out and have that little guys night and that personal connection. But the best part was the socializing part. Where I can trust him and he can trust me and we would just talk and I’ll tell him some problems that would be going on between me and whoever or some choices that I would be struggling with and he will just give me great advice on how I could fix it or get through it and to be a better person. He wasn’t just a youth director, but a friend you can trust and relate to.

People’s smiles are another thing that gets me through the day. Like I mentioned before in one of my older post is that I really like helping people and that I have no problem with helping people. If you ask me for help I will do it without argument.

Sometimes I’ll do it the minute you ask me to do, no matter what I’m doing I will stop and do. Playing a game or watching a movie , no problem, I’ll stop it and just go right to doing it. Games aren’t that important to me-I lose then I lose. But then there’s other times where I’ll wait until later to take care of it but I’ll still get it done.

But what I mean about people’s smiles is that when I help people and they give me a smile, then I really appreciate it because it gives me joy that I gave them joy. Let me tell you a story…

I want to inspire people. I want someone to look at me and say “Because of you, I didn’t give up.”

About a week ago, I was sitting in front of the library 3 hours before they open because I don’t like sitting in the house with T yelling at me for helping her with everything she asked me to. So I usually leave to sit at the store, they have a deli and some tables or I’ll go to the library. On the day I went the library opened at 1:00 and a few people came by and I told them they opened at 1:00, just normal information giving. This one women and her husband came by and was looking for the same thing, the time when the library opened because they were interested in a library card. They just moved up here from the south and wanted information on how to get a library card. So I stood up and put my phone down explained to them in very great detail of what you need and how easy it is to obtain one. While I am talking to her, in my head I just have this really good feeling that I can’t explain. And it’s making me happier and happier inside. When we were done, she started to explain to me that I was the first person that went out of their way and took the extra time to explain how to do or get something since they came up to NY. She stated that everyone is always so busy and I made a comment “yeah, apparently everyone’s always too busy to help someone”. The next day she came in and got her library card and a few movies and then she saw me and came over. She told me some more stories about how her husband felt the same way how I’m the first person to help them since they got here. Also she was telling me that she started to cry when she got home that day because she really appreciated my enthusiasm to help her and my smile that gave her a smile and she wanted to give me a hug. So we hugged. So everyday she comes in and bring back movies and books and get new ones, she walks over to me smiling and tells me different stories about her life and what’s she’s doing. Telling me about her walks, who past away in her family, the vacation that she’s taking this Sunday and just different things that she volunteering to tell me. And everyday I leave with a smile thinking why can’t everyone be nice and more mature but no everyone is too tied up with what their doing to realize what’s going on. I was talking to someone and we were talking about how people come in and out of our life for a reason. We’ll talk about her later :)!


My first post name Introduction I talked about having many options and that something is holding me back. Here’s what I said, “I’ve had many choices and chances throughout the time of staying with them and every time, I’ve choose the wrong one. Something is holding me back”! I think it’s about time to start talking about what it is that’s holding me back…the sacrifices! 

Been living with L and T for about a year now and I have gotten nowhere in life. L is my best friend, name, lucas. T is his mother, Teresa. You have to know something about Teresa, you will get yelled at for no reason, even if you do exactly what she ask you to do. You will hear her talk about how she and her “service” dogs were attacked so many times around the world. You will hear her talk in different accents because she is from every state and every country in the world. She is very unstable and have multiple mental problems. Teresa is an Army vet, but this isn’t the reason for the mental problems. She haven’t seen any action when she was over there, she was like some tech person in an office. Actually, she doesn’t even say herself that it’s from the military. She blames everyone else in The United States of America for the reason she’s all messed up in the head and have injuries. She does not save any money for whatever reason and then blames us for living with her and spending all of her money. This is the fastest month we went through money. She $3000 on the 1st on her card and then she left me and Lucas $10 each for food and went off to Buffalo for 2 days. She spent a little over $2000 and came back saying it’s her money she can do whatever she wants with it. Yeah, nothing is wrong with that, except when you spend more than half of it when we still have a whole month to go. I know she is hoping her settlement from her accident comes in because the attorney said it’ll be in around 21 days and it’s $18,000. So she’s just waiting on that money to come in. Which it did but she doesn’t understand she can’t just go to a bank and cash a $18,000 check. That’s why she went to Buffalo again yesterday and spent the rest of the money for a cab and food and what not.

Alright, so she came back this morning and already started yelling at me. She always complaining how I need to go and how I just sit around and sleep all day doing nothing. So I decided to argue back this time. I said that “I’m the only one that ever helps you without giving any attitude because I have no problem helping anyone.” And that “I’m the only one that actually gets up in the morning”. Every morning I’m the only person that wakes up early and tries to leave to the library and the store/deli to sit around at and look for this to do for the whole day. And if Teresa needs help with something I say yes I can help you with that. Lucas will not wake up and help anyone do anything. Giving attitude with every request given to him to do something. So where was Lucas this morning when she was yelling at me for whatever reason…yeah he was sleep…sort of. Before she started yelling at me we were talking and getting up because she wanted us to go to the store. So I don’t know what his problem is. When lucas and his mom are yelling, something I will jump in to help him out but he doesn’t ever seem to help me at all…with anything. I had a job, better living situation, going to college but since being with lucas I haven’t been able to regain what I had. So maybe I’m just better off without him. His mind is not prioritizing what is suppose to be done. Has no responsibilities, won’t clean after himself…Let him fail by himself. 

Life as a PK

Remember in my first post where I explain a little about my past and a couple homes that I considered as home out of 12 foster homes? The second family I considered home was a house of the lord. By that I mean my father is the pastor and mother was the secretary, but now she works at a prison which is not a bad thing because is helping the people in there. 
I also mentioned that it’s nice to see the church in a different perspective than how the congress see it. So today I’m going to talk about life as a pastor’s kid. So that you know, this is the third time I was the kid of a pastor, but this pastor, father, home was beyond compare. 

As the congress you normally would go to church at a certain time like maybe 9:00 or 10:00, maybe earlier. Maybe talk to a couple people, grab your bulletin and take your seat. Look up at the pastor or worship team and listen, sing along and just absorb what the lord has to say today. Then it’s time for offering and you pass the basket or plate around putting your money in and observing the ushers gathering in the back with the plates and there gone(future post coming). At the end you may stay for snacks and chat with a few people, grab your kids and leave. Then your off on the rest of your day to watch the Bills dominate. Haha! But it’s a little different as the pastor’s kid or just as the pastor. 

As a pastor’s kid, you will see everybody that’s at the church and get to know everyone. You are more involved in different church activities, groups, classes, etc. Which isn’t a problem at all because it’s fun to meet as many people as you can and hear everyone’s stories on how god has help them throughout their lives. Also as PK, you see all the paper work pastors have to do and you can see how the sermon is developed every week and see that pastors aren’t just sitting around and just waiting until the day of to gather his/her sermon together. It is like having backstage passes to a 21 Pilots concert- you get to see everything that happens before hand and after instead of just attending church and you see the pastor going up to the podium and begin speaking. Another thing as a PK, maybe not for me as much as my foster brother T who is the biological son of pastor P, but getting asked a lot if your going to become a pastor like your dad and you have to wonder if he starts feeling guilty that he doesn’t want to be one and feel like your disappointing people (not our parents) by saying so. Oh! And yes! You will be the last to leave every Sunday. 

Well that’s a little bit of how I feel about being a pastors kid. I really enjoy it. I love meeting new people and getting involved in different things. Having a pastor and father, really opens your eyes about god and what it takes to follow Him and becoming a christian. I was lucky to have both a great father and mother and a great pastor. 


 I got a request to talk about my BM (Biological Mother). I don’t know too much about her but I’ll try my best. This post will probably be a little jumpy like hear and there only because I only remember some things before I was taken away.

      Before I got taken away from my mom at the age of 9, I was just with my mom. There was a guy at the house a lot but I don’t remember if he stayed there or just came over a lot. I do know he was not my dad. Quick note-I remember that my dad was a crippled. There was something wrong with his legs so he had to use crutches. That didn’t stop him from walking a lot though. Me and him and my mom would walk around a lot, pretty far too. Also me and my dad would try and race, him on crutches and me as a little boy. That’s why now I really don’t get tired from walking far or have a problem if I have to walk somewhere that’s far. Usually I’ll choose to walk instead of taking the bus places. I appreciate long walks. (I’m going to have to do a lot of walking while carrying like an extra 90 pounds in the military for the hikes, so, might as well get use to it, right?) I know my mom and I had some fun times because I always remember laugher and playing around a lot as a kid. I remember this one time I ended putting this one guy in jail of sorts. Was living maybe somewhere in east Buffalo and the guy was beating my mom and stomping her stomach for some reason. And the cops were called and he walked away fast down the street and when the cops finally came and asking her questions and stuff and I remember randomly saying “that’s the guy right there” and they caught up to him arrested him I believe. And that’s all I could recall from that situation. 
      Then we moved to another location off of E Ferry St. in Buffalo. Which is where I got taken from after maybe a year or so there. Somebody called the cops on her saying she was beating her kids because the guy upstairs from us was a drug dealer and wanted us out of the house for whatever. So the cops came and they were found doing drugs and took me and my little brother Chris across the street to this older ladies house that we knew already. She was the pastor at a small church around the corner. Then did the whole foster care thing and maybe about a couple years ago I found out that she was living down the street from where the SILP building I was living at. I talk a little bit more about SILP in my older post called The Name if you haven’t read that yet. So I would go there a couple times and talk to her. She does miss me and my little brother a lot but she is still drinking, not sure about the drug part, maybe a little but I’m not sure. So that is when she got her rights of me taken away from her because she couldn’t clean herself up in time. We see her once in a while. Harder for me now since I’m not living in Buffalo. Sorry for the way this post came out, I don’t know much about my mom at this point. 



As I established in my bio on the about page, I been interested in the military, the United States Marine Corps to be exact. What I’m asking myself is college or military. Which to do first. To get it out of the way, I’m interested in a few different jobs. Combat camera, combat engineer, force recon or dog handler. Today I’m going to inform you of the pros and cons of both going into college then the military or going into the military and then college.

Attending college before doing service you will get that becoming of age experience, going to college and earning a degree, something to be proud of. With that degree you may have a chance of getting a higher pay, you maybe qualify for a certain MOS(Military Occupational Specialty) you would like to get. Also there is greater potential in get promoted faster since you will have a degree saying you are qualified to do whatever it is that you earned in a degree in, you will be a head of the guy that does not have a degree and has to learn everything from the beginning. However if you do attend college then your retirement will be later for instance, if I go into the military now I could retire at 40 instead of let’s say 44 or 45 years old which isn’t a huge deal but it is if your trying to retire early. Do college first then you just might have to take out college loans. It will also give you time to think whether the military is right you.

Serving out a single military contract which is about same time as a bachelor degree then you can have your early retirement. You can get on-the-job-training for dozens of career tracks that does not require a degree and these skills can further develop in college. You can get your college paid for depending what college you go to, it can either be fully paid or half paid which any amount will help with these high priced colleges. And of course you will get medical paid for and housing if gunners it or just want it. But you might struggle trying to juggle school and military service. Going back and forth. For some it will be difficult to transition from military to civilian life before of what you seen or did overseas.

There is a program called ROTC. Which stands for Reserve Officers Training Corps. If your interested in becoming an officer for the military then this program with be great for you because they pay for college and you commit to joining the military when your done. You receive valuable training in military skills, leadership development, and academic study. This program is available at many colleges around you.


Hair, Urine, Dirty Laundry, Stress

The title of this post explains my current living situation. I’m living with L and his mom, T, two dogs and two cats in a 1 bedroom apartment, but not for long.

Living here is very stressful because one, we have a lady that’s out of one’s mind and has so many mental problems. Starting with Dissociative identity disorder which is the same as multiple identity disorder. She is always stating how she studied everything, if you start up a conversation with her about science, doctors, animals, video games, etc. She will say that she studied it for years and claim how right she is about the topic. Even if it’s something new that was just researched, she knows all about it because she “studied it her whole life”. She is from every state or country. When she is talking to someone her voice starts to change throughout many different accents and will tell them that she’s from Italy, Britain, Texas or wherever. So yes, she is a pathological liar and compulsive liar. To explain this is simple. She just lies all the time. She is a person who breaks everything and finds a excuse for how it was not her and it is everyone else’s fault. She broke the stove that came with the apartment, her excuse for this is that the oven exploded a little so it broke the glass and the stove tops arched electricity and burn her. That has nothing to do with why the stove top burners are all bent up and the oven door is half broken off. It’s quite funny actually because we caught her in a lie, we brought up the oven door again and this time she said that she opened the door and it flew off so the front window broke. Not exactly what she said the first time so L and I just nodded our heads and said “Mhmm”. We are in the process of moving once again because of her actions, the landlord is furious with her.

An addition, is all the animals. Don’t get me wrong you can ask anyone that really knows me that I love animals no matter what. It’s just T’s “service dogs” that are really vexatious and undisciplined. Both dogs, Charlie and Baby, urinates in the house everyday. Baby is a small short-haired pekingese and T let’s her urinate and poop all over the place because she won’t take her out and tell L and I not to. Baby’s urine isn’t as bad as when Charlie urinates. Charlie is a large 3 year old border collie and when take him out and for someone reason urinates for a long time. But when L and I go to the library or sit at the deli to waste time and try and fine something to do, T will not take Charlie out at all. So when we come back he will start urinating because we can fully get he vest on or while watching a movie he will randomly urinate himself and it is a lot and I mean a lot (check out picture number 3). It is super difficult to clean it up specially when she buys a sponge mop. All it does is push and smear it even further. So all of our socks and clothes gets soaked with urine. Which brings me to my next point. ( Blog continues after photos)

Laundry. I’m not proud of it but all of our laundry is smelly, has stains and who knows what else. Since it is a little apartment upstairs we don’t have a washer and dryer but there is a laundromat not even a block away.m, more like 100 feet. The problem is that we don’t have any money, so that is out of the question. Hand washing is fine but I don’t like washing them without soap because it is not actually washing them. I’m just a walking dirty laundry hamper. I guess that is all I have to say about laundry. Not much else to say really.

So this is my living situation, getting urine and hair everywhere from the dogs, people constantly lying, money shortages, people yelling and blaming everyone else. I’ll make another post about the town itself and what’s around and what’s not around.